Jan 30 2009
Tools For Tranquility
Yesterday I was ’stuck’ upstairs breastfeeding my toddler for what seemed an interminable time, having been interrupted from tidying up when he woke up from a nap. I really wanted to be downstairs doing something else. Inspired by ‘Buddhism for Mothers ‘, I tried to watch my thoughts as they became more and more frustrated, and decided to change tack: I did a three-minute Kundalini Yoga meditation ‘for a calm heart’. It has a simple hand posture, or ‘mudra’ (possible even when nursing!) and the breath is to hold both the in-breath and the out-breath for as long as possible without straining. By the end of the three minutes I felt in a totally different mental and emotional state: I was enjoying myself instead of wishing to get on with something else, I felt peaceful and expanded. If only, I thought, I could remember these little tools on a more regular basis!
As a busy mother of a busy toddler I have no choice but to keep my serenity by opening up to ways of integrating my spiritual practice with all the little moments of my everyday life, rather than waiting for a swathe of time - much like I’ve done with my writing over the years: take what you can get, and make the most of it.
That’s why I enjoyed Kundalini Yoga teacher Gurmukh’s brilliant book ‘The Eight Human Talents ‘ which I refer to every now and then: unlike most Kundalini Yoga books, it doesn’t have complete ‘kriyas’ or sets of exercises, but includes short exercises that can be done in as little as one minute. What’s amazing is that, due to their effect on the glandular and endocrine systems that govern our emotional state, we can feel a difference from even a tiny time committment.
Today I felt a bit like screaming as the Pibler wouldn’t come to get into his pyjamas (he was very tired but fighting going to bed as he often does) and wanted to romp all over the bed instead. I’d had a very long day with him and needed him to just go to bed in the foreseeable future. I find honesty rather than suppression is best in parenting as in most endeavours. So, I told him that Mommy was feeling a bit irritated and needed to take a few deep breaths. I was inspired by a thread on the “Mothering” forums that discussed how to model ’self-soothing’ for young children, how to show them the way to constructively deal with anger and frustration. So I took a few deep conscious breaths and although I felt rather silly, it did snap me out of a downward spiral and re-focused me on my intention of being loving and patient towards my son.
I’ve stopped teaching the yoga classes I was doing, and am thinking of taking a different tack: gearing my classes towards mothers and helping them find little tools to use at home, to help them with stress and the feelings of lack of control that,I know from talking to lots of other moms of toddlers, can be overwhelming at times.
