Balancing Motherhood, Yoga and Writing

I’ve spent most of today cleaning but, post-dinner, you would never think so if you looked at the dining area and kitchen: onion peels, carrot tops and various implements scattered everywhere, with the odd toy duck thrown in, plus of course bits of actual dinner - kidney beans, rice and so on. Still, I feel strangely satisfied as I finally achieved my housework tasks for the weekend!

The secret is to have no set plans with others in the day. As soon as I am going out at some point, nothing substantial gets done. I’ve enjoyed being in a rhythm with my little one again, pottering around the house together this weekend with no agenda other than getting it back to ‘ground zero’, and interspersing that with many jokes, tickles, stories, talking, dancing to music, and romping on the bed. It was great to only communicate with him and not have to juggle talking to a friend and him. Of course, if I had to do this everyday, I’d feel isolated and bored, but balance is what I’m striving for as ever!

Last night we took the Pibler to his first pantomine. His aunt was performing as part of an amateur drama group and gave me and my partner tickets to go along. I didn’t know what to expect and was slightly nervous about what he would do, but had no idea that the Pibler would spend most of the performance standing right up at the stage, looking up at the actors with fascination and dancing along to the songs! His aunt said that she could just see the top of his little face and hear his ‘talking’ - joining in. There were other similar-aged children but they never moved from their parents’ laps (I wondered how they accomplished that), whereas the Pibler was ‘off’ the minute we got in there - just took his shoes and socks off and went!

He also discovered the exits out of the side and back of the school hall where the pantomime took place, and was soon legging it for the stairs on more than one occasion. He tried to climb onto the stage several times during interval (and once during the second half!) necessitating me having to collect and redirect him. His dad remarked that he seems to be ‘fearless’, and I must admit I felt rather proud!

I’m sure his physical adventurousness, coming more and more to the fore since he started walking, is partly his own temperament, but I think that raising him in a more-or-less Continuum way has contributed. He hasn’t been ‘hovered over’ as most young ones are these days, and has been given freedom appropriate within safe bounds, much more than I see even older children getting. I remember being shocked at Buddhafield Festival last summer when I saw a newly-walking toddler having free reign all over the festival (two large fields stretching a good distance) well out of his mother’s eye-shot. Now I think I understand - she was probably applying the Continuum principles of trust in your child’s abilities, once demonstrated, and that was after all one of the safest environments you could come across in modern life.

I also think our methods of discipline have a bearing on his confidence and ease in new environments: we don’t ‘use’ fear, we don’t admonish him for doing things that are normal for him to do, we simply redirect, and if there’s no reason for him not to do something other than ‘what would people think?’, we generally don’t make an issue of it. Which is why I found it hard to have to drag him back from the bottom of the library stairs last week, knowing he could climb them capably, but myself afraid of the wrath of a librarian. I knew that he couldn’t understand why different rules seemed to apply at home and elsewhere, but other people’s property and rules need to be considered too. 

Tonight during bedtime stories he pointed to a tiny little duck in a detailed drawing of a toy stall (from my childhood favourite book, ‘Dogger’ by Shirley Hughes) and said ‘quack quack’, impressing me with his concentration and comprehension (it’s a long book and intended for rather older readers). Today I feel at peace with being a mother,  so lucky to be able to do it full-time, and gifted to have the company of my son.

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