Balancing Motherhood, Yoga and Writing

I’ve had a lovely weekend of catching up with friends, getting some much-needed ‘child-free’ time, and reconnecting with the sea. I live a half hour’s walk away from it, yet easily find weeks passing without a visit. Today the ocean was flat, calm and soothing - the beach nearly deserted on a Sunday morning - and only ten minutes on the shore refreshed me like nothing else has in the past weeks.

I have made a habit of taking my little one along to sites of ‘nature’ from an early age, such as woodland parks, the forest, and of course, the ocean. Yet somehow, although I get a lot of joy from seeing his experience of these places, it’s never as uplifting as when I go alone. It’s as if I am still mediating his experience, when I’m with him, and not able to have my own, fresh immersion in the scenery, and in my spirit.

I listened to an interview with psychologist and author Oliver James on BBC Radio 4 today, about his book ‘Affluenza‘. I’ve partially read this book and want to have a proper read of it now. It deals with how modern society, particularly the English-speaking world, is increasingly ‘infected’ by a virus of desiring more and better material things; of substituting wants for needs. James arges that emotional distress and mental illness in these countries is correlated with the prevalence of Affluenza.

What I like about James’s arguments is that, unlike many other psychological and spiritual theorists, he does not ignore the wider sociological atmosphere of parenting, and in particular the low status of mothers. He argues for a living wage to be paid to those undertaking full-time parenting, and that this be given the status it deserves. This is because Affluenza has infected society to the point where people prioritise money and material possessions over being with their children during the crucial early years of their lives.

In the interview, James lauded the ‘credit crunch’ as finally exposing the false edifice of which ’selfish capitalism’ is constructed, and helping to weaken the grip of Affluenza. I was inspired by his positive spin on something that receives so much ‘doom and gloom’, self-fulfilling media of late. I like the idea of seeing the current recession as an opportunity to realise what is truly important in life, returning to the simple, and cherishing our family relationships over material possessions. The ideas in John Lane’s Timeless Simplicity, which I also read recently, take this concept further, talking about how to have less yet enjoy more.

So how does this apply to my life? Well, we’ve made the choice for me to be a full-time or ’stay-at-home’ mother (even though I am very often not at home), despite the considerable financial sacrifices this entails. In our house we take the time to make most of our meals from scratch. We buy second-hand most of the time, including the Pibler’s clothes and toys, which are largely hand-me-downs. None of this bothers us in terms of status at all. We value time with friends and with each other, more than collecting possessions or watching TV. One of my concerns about the Pibler as he gets older is that he will inevitably be exposed to the consumerist culture through his peers and through TV advertising, so I hope to give him as much ‘immunity’ from that as possible.