Jan 01 2009
After the Ecstacy, the Laundry
Happy New Year! Last night turned out to be rather lovely - the Pibler and I went to a good friend’s house for the evening and saw the new year in with her, together with two other friends. There was a good view of the fireworks over the city, and we enjoyed salmon and cream cheese canapes!
I like it when things are impromptu, as this was only arranged a few hours before. It means there’s no undue pressure to ‘have a good time’, and the evening can unfold in a natural way. It felt good to be spending New Year with two of my best friends. My partner stayed home with flu but I was glad I took the Pibler along - he ended up staying up till 12, even though I had put him to bed initially at 8! Right after midnight he crashed out, as if he had been waiting for the new year. Today has been rather uneventful - we lounged around most of the day and then I took the Pibler for a walk to Queenspark, where someone had thrown two rubbish bins into the partially frozen lake. Then we returned and he crashed out for a 3 hour nap!
During which I was lucky enough to be able to read more of a fascinating book called ‘After the Ecstacy, the Laundry’ by Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield. It’s about the spiritual journey, based on the author’s talks with spiritual masters and teachers of many different inclinations. I like it because it’s very honest about the spiritual path and how difficult it is to integrate it into day-to-day life. There are these epiphanies and realisations - and then, yes, you still have to come home and deal with the dishes and the laundry. It’s something I’ve always struggled with - having amazing experiences on my yoga teacher training or at retreats and magical festivals such as Buddhafield, and then returning to a job where I felt deeply unfulfilled.
Reading this book is helping me to understand that in a way, being a mother is a spiritual initiation, and I feel very privileged to be given this opportunity. I don’t have to pay hundreds of pounds to go and listen to masters and meditate, I can learn patience and compassion and in-the-moment-ness right here and now from my own little teacher. I still wish I had more time for the internal sustenance side of spirituality - it’s great having the practice and integration element, but there is a need for solitude, reflection and refreshing one’s spirit.
One thing I notice from the book, is that many of the stories referred to could not occur for a mother of a dependent child - often they are the stories of fathers, who are referred to as ‘raising a family and having a career’. My cynical mind thinks, no, you mean they had children and their wife was raising them while they were off at meditation retreats!
