Balancing Motherhood, Yoga and Writing

Today I unwisely ventured out in the pre-Christmas madness to do a number of (Non-Christmas-related) errands, including flier-dropping for my Kundalini Yoga Workshop

My first stop was a cafe where I’ve put fliers for my Mothers Writing Workshop before, and got a friendly response from the staff. This time, however, I was told by a different (male) staff member in no uncertain terms to ‘first of all be aware’ that ‘my buggy’ (stroller/pushchair) was blocking the entrance to the shop and it was lunchtime. I looked around for a queue of people whose access was blocked: there were none, just one other customer, and I had been in the shop for all of one minute, waiting for this customer to be served so I could ask about the noticeboard.

I apologised and said I wouldn’t be a moment, went on with my request, which was agreed to, and felt distinctly unwelcome.  I’d been about to order a drink as well, but thought better of it since they clearly did not want my custom. As I left, the guy who served me said ‘You’re welcome’ in a sarcastic manner, although I had both apologised and thanked him.

Maybe it’s bad karma. I did used to, pre-child days, find buggies on the pavements quite an annoyance, but would never have said anything to anyone or looked daggers at them. Maybe the guy was succumbing to ‘Credit Crunch’ anxiety and worried about losing any potential customers because of my MacLaren (one of the smallest, lightest buggy types available) containing a sleeping baby standing just inside the doorway. It was more the way he said it than what he said: if he’d asked in a friendly tone, “Excuse me, would you mind just moving your buggy a bit further in so people can get in more easily?” I wouldn’t have been offended. It was the implication that I was taking up space I was not entitled to, and his ‘telling-off’ tone, that got me.

It was one of many examples I could cite of the attitude towards mothers with babies that some people seem to have: that they are nuisances, and get in the way. How un-child-friendly our society is. I left feeling more like a social leper than a valued customer. As another mom friend of mine commented, sometimes when she gets on the bus with a buggy the other travellers sigh and shift and look at her as if she were doing something truly abhorrent, rather than simply raising a member of the next generation.

Of course, possible retorts only came to me afterwards: “A thing to be aware of: This is not ‘my buggy’, but a human being, another person who is entitled to take up space. And another thing: Would you tell a wheelchair-user they were ‘in the way’?” Grrr.

Okay, deep breaths. Do some yoga. Let it go.