Nov 29 2008
Creativity and Motherhood
Someone on the Mothering natural parenting forums said “Could the ultimate act of creativity, reproduction, actually stop all other forms of creativity?” I can’t remember who it was, but that comment has stuck with me. I wonder.
Clearly being a parent contains a plethora of opportunities to be creative. Yesterday I attended a first year birthday party, and in the evening, a spiritual gathering, both, of course, with Pibler in tow. I always learn new ‘tricks’ when meeting with others socially: someone will initiate a game with Pibler that I never would have thought of, and I think ‘Wow. That’s original’. Like playing ‘catch the baby’: obvious, isn’t it, but I only ever thought of ‘catch the ball’.
Then there’s the mothers who are creative in an artsy-craftsy way. I admire them, making strings of hand-sewn letters spelling ‘Happy Birthday’, or home-baking cakes, or scrapbooking. I look at these activities and think: lovely, if I had the time. But I’m sure that, like most things in life, if you really want to, you do make the time.
But the kind of creativity that requires deep immersion, focus, and going into ‘another world’, such as novel-writing, certainly faces challenges during motherhood, or at least a motherhood without substantial family support or childcare. My decision, inspired by Oliver James’ influential book Affluenza as well as child development expert Penelope Leach’s Who Cares? - to not use significant amounts of childcare before the age of three has put me in a situation where my creativity time is necessarily ’snatched’ time.
This has, however, helped me to get off the procrastination treadmill and actually use my few snatched moments productively (well, usually - sometimes I just get sucked into the net - evil thing!). I can’t imagine what I did with all my ’spare time’ before becoming a parent. I must have ‘wasted’ a lot.
A discussion with a fellow mom yesterday also got me thinking about the Continuum Concept v.s. ‘child-centred’ living. She said that she plays with her 10-month-old most of the time because that seems developmentally appropriate, and because she wants to make her day as great as possible. And that nursery, therefore, is a logical place for her child because it’s so much more ‘entertaining’. I felt sad to think that mothers don’t consider themselves ‘entertaining’ enough for their own children.
There is plenty of evidence to show that young children are not, indeed, better off at nursery or ‘daycare’- particularly full-time - and can in fact be harmed by the experience, even affecting the behaviour of non-nursery children who attend school with them. Some good sources of solid research can be found on the website of the Full Time Mothers’ organisation and on the website Daycares Don’t Care.
I believe that children learn best from being immersed in ‘real life’, being part of our lives, and from consistent one-to-one interaction with key trusted individuals. Even if that does mean some sacrifices in the way of creativity. For now.
