Nov 27 2008
Balance…and an intro
My friend, mother of a four-month-old, shared with me a good tip for surviving the all-consuming experience of being a mother.
Do one thing with the baby/for the baby, then one for yourself. I like this idea, and have been loosely applying it to my life. This morning I took Chibler to a music group for tots. Then this afternoon it’s my time to go and write while his dad takes over. I also apply it on a smaller scale: play ball with him for a few minutes, then check my email.
Last night I taught a great yoga class - one that I’ve newly taken over at Manna Cafe . It was so rewarding to teach a full class for a change after teaching an empty or very small one, for six months. The energy was intense, and afterwards I felt both ‘high’ and a little drained. Teaching Kundalini Yoga is so much more than just guiding people through postures - it’s about carrying the energy of the class and providing a safe space for people to work through whatever comes up for them - emotional, physical, resistance, memories, you name it.
As usual though I ended up running around before the class, trying to get everything ready in time. One of the problems I had to deal with was the fact that my rather expensive Yoga-Mad Natural Tree Yoga Mat, purchased a few months ago under the mistaken impression that I was paying £30 for 3 mats but was in fact paying that for only 1, ws generously decorated with bits of ‘Baby Bell’ cheese, deposited there by one of the toddlers who attended my Mom and Toddler Yoga session earlier this week. I couldn’t quite get it clean in time, since I was asked to take over this class at short notice, but luckily I don’t think anyone noticed.
I think balance is the art of life for anyone, but particularly those of us who are parents. There’s the juggling that goes on between the needs of one’s children, which often seem to change day to day, and one’s own needs, as well as between children for those mothers of many. Then there’s the balancing act between mothering and the rest of life - activities that you require as a human being to feel full and complete.
For me, those things that are non-negotiable are: a daily yoga and meditation practice - which I was only able to resume fully a couple of months post-partum, and still occasionally don’t manage to do; a bit of writing every day, whether it’s journalling, blogging, article-writing or working on my novel (on a good day, all of the above - but we’re being realistic here); and time to recharge through activities like dance, for example my Wednesday Wave dance class which, sadly, I have to give up now that I am teaching a new slot on Wed nights.
Time with my partner, of course, and time to just relax and read. It has taken me more than a year to come even close to feeling satisfied with the balance of all these things, mainly, I think, because I have chosen to follow the ‘road less travelled’ in terms of practicing attachment parenting and so-called ‘natural’ parenting as much as possible. This means that going out for a night happens rarely, if ever, and ‘a night’ usually means an hour and a half.
My new thing is Thursday afternoons, though - this is my time to go to a cafe and write, browse in the library without having to rush straight to the children’s section, and have a hot chocolate without having to rush it (or have to move it out of reach constantly).
Knowing my interest in attachment parenting and hence my preference for slings over strollers (until, more recently, my back has started saying ‘no more’ and I’ve cut sling-wearing down to around the house only), a friend sent me a link to this article about the benefits of having a pushchair/stroller that faces towards rather than away from the parent. Apparently it helps the child to develop socially as more interaction takes place that way. I have to admit my cynical side comes out here: who exactly was paying for this research? How come buggies that face towards the parent are about four times the price of ones that face away? I know I would have chosen to have one facing towards me, if I could afford it, but alas, this was not an option. I don’t think we need more mother guilt heaped upon us please!
